I Will Never Forget Those Words

A Moment Frozen in Time

Already a Grandma of two, I was elated when Dusty and Rachael told me that they were going to add a number three grand little to our family. For as long as I can remember Dusty has wanted to be a father.

It was a wonderful nine months of preparation to bring this lovely soul into the world.  Gender reveal determined that it would be a girl.  Her name would be Amirah Rayne.

Rachael was an amazing expectant Mama — perfect nutrition, perfect exercise, perfect check-ups, perfect pregnancy.  Then senselessly her and Dusty's lives crashed.

When Rachael started leaking fluid and feeling discomfort a few days before her due date, I was pretty sure she was in pre-labor.  She went into the birthing center (Rogue Birth Center) to be examined and the midwives there told her that she was fine — it was just cervical fluid.  They sent her home.

What the heck is cervical fluid?

Over the course of the next couple of days she lost two lbs. of that ‘cervical fluid’.

When Rachael finally went into full labor on July 27th, Dusty called me at work.

"Mom, we’re in the hospital, Rach already gave birth.”

You can't imagine my jubilation and anticipation for the introduction of Amirah into this world. But Dusty cut me short saying, "Mom, don't get excited —Amirah didn't make it".

“What?”.

“She didn’t make it—she’s dead”.

I WILL NEVER FORGET THOSE WORDS.

Disbelief, shock and numbness filled my entirety. Then I thought of Rachael and Dusty — my children.

How could they ever come to understand this tragedy? Amirah was ready for entry three days ago and now she is gone. She was drained of life (literally) by people claiming to know what they were doing and DID NOT.

Amirah:  daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin.

Jesus, please take good care of our beautiful Amirah.

And then there were two.

- Grandma Suzie